This year, six
Candidates platforms, which are plastered online and on ugly signs, offer promises such as: wireless in every dorm! cap on tuition increases! Alpine Bagel in Davis Library! Wait...what? Oh jeez.
So how are our callow candidates going to deliver on these promises? Uh, well, they can't. Let's be honest, they have all the real power of an organ grinder monkey. They have one seat on the Board of Trustees. One seat out of 12. Do you really think the big-wigs take them seriously?
That's why I've decided to vote for Hallie Lipsey:
Now there are some changes that I can believe in. So here's my pitch: if you don't care about who wins SBP, don't just pick some name from the list or pick the one that annoys you least. Vote for Hallie Lipsey. I don't even know if this is a real person, but either way it will send a message to the candidates. Maybe then they'll stop annoying me on the way to Lenoir and stop promising me things that I know they can't do.
On second thought, it probably won't help. But it would be funny as hell.
Hallie Lipsey for SBP!!
UPDATE: I've heard from multiple sources and just enough Facebook stalking to find out that Hallie is a real person. Whether she or a friend is behind it, I'm not sure. Either way, this person is still my hero.
UPDATE 2: So I keep getting comments about this post, and here's the latest. From an anonymous commenter: "I'm a friend of hers, and I'm pretty sure she didn't know about it until someone showed her (IE she was walking through the pit and her jaw dropped when she saw the board). Which makes it hilarious."
This story might be worth digging a little more into. Anyone have any more information? Hit me up in the comments.