Hallie Lipsey for SBP Part II: The Follow-up

I didn't realize exactly what I would be getting into when I typed my post on Friday. To me, it was just an interesting sign in the Pit: a refreshing break from the obnoxious student body president campaigning that has been going on the past few weeks. Fourteen comments, several "tweets," a couple of Facebook messages and a Facebook group later, I think we've started a revolution.

Soon after my post was published, comments started trickling in giving me more information about the mysterious Hallie. Yes, she was a real person. No, she had nothing to do with the sign. So I wanted to dig a little deeper. What else do people know about her? That's when the fun comments started flooding in:
"Hallie Lipsey can do the moonwalk!"
"Manu, you're crazy insane, lol. Hallie, I loves you!!"
"I'm writing in Hallie Lipsey, even though her sign keeps falling over. If you see it fall, do the right thing. Either right it, or knock over all the other signs. Seriously."

And my personal favorite:
"Her environmental platform promises an orange monkey habitat in the arboretum and her safety platform has a plan for a velociraptor awareness day. they sound like great ideas to me! plus, hallie is very sweet, smart, and hardworking."

The next thing I know, there is a Facebook group, Heels for Hallie, which claims that she was featured on a "nationally recognized weblog." Yeah, they meant me. I'll take it. On the group's page they listed even more and better platform points than those that were on the sign in the Pit.
Hallie promises to:

- Allow jousting in the quad
- Promote Velociraptor Awareness Day
- Enforce mandatory 5-second rule
- Help the Greeks defeat the Trojans
- Create P3P (even better than P2P)
- Put an Alpine Bagel in every building
- Annex Carrboro
- Fine the Board of Elections 12 dollars
- Create a flat-rate rickshaw service
- Fix the uneven bricks on campus
- Look remarkably like J.J. Raynor
- Not be obnoxious

On Sunday, there was a quick blurb about her on the Daily Tar Heel blog by our esteemed university editor, Andrew Dunn. Of course, it had nothing on my in-depth coverage.

My pictures of the signs started popping up as Facebook profile pictures and the Heels for Hallie group encouraged members to invite all their friends and make the movement 1,000,000 strong for the write-in candidate.

At this point, I felt it was necessary to get in touch with the center of this perfect storm. After just enough Facebook stalking to get the information I needed but not enough to be like that guy you met at the frat party who keeps sending you creepy bumper stickers, I found Hallie and sent her a short message asking what she knew about the signs.

Her response:
"Haha. Wow. I cannot believe this has gotten this huge. Unfortunately, I had nothing to do with the sign or the fantastic platform. I have a couple of suspicions about who is actually responsible but no hard proof. Until then, though, I'm just enjoying the laughs, especially in the last few days of an overhyped debate for SBP. At least it gives life a little perspective.

"Thank you so much for sending me a message! I hope I have satisfied at least a bit of your curiosity! ;)"

So the identity of the sign maker is still a mystery. But I'm glad that Hallie is rolling with it and having as much fun as I am.

Tomorrow is election day. Make the right choice. Not Michael Betts, the young'n that thinks Alpine Bagel in Davis Library is a good idea. Not Ashley Klein, the one whose signs have crazy triangles hell-bent on cutting your legs when you walk by. Not Ron Bilbao, the one that looks like a creep in his mugshot-esque picture that is in the DTH. Not Jazmine Jones, who already knows she can't do what she promised. Not Matt Wohlford, whose platform is full of things that UNC has already done. And definitely not Thomas Edwards, who is unashamedly frat-tastic in his douche baggery (thanks Betsy and Courtney). Successfully spelling your name is not enough to make you SBP.

Do the right thing on election day and write in Hallie Lipsey. Sure, she can't actually win, but it will send a great message to our candidates and all candidates in the future: stop being obnoxoius, no one cares.


Anonymous said...

Corey Inscoe, you speak the truth! Viva the Hallie Revolution!

Salvation Holdout said...

DTH: Bilbao is a loose cannon. Hahahahahaha. Dats lyke, totally music man.

Mel said...

My "definitely not" would be Jazmine Jones. She is THE WORST public speaker I have ever heard. The WORST. We went to an abortion debate last year and she was the moderator... I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES.

Hunter said...

Corey, your coverage is top notch - especially the douchebaggery comment about Thomas.

Gannon said...

Matt Wohlford won the Bounce forum in a lightning round of Smash Brothers against Jasmine Jones. I voted for him this morning in the hopes that his innovative statesmanship would liven up the Board of Trustees meetings. Now I see too late that Hallie Lipsey was the true hope, and I was deceived by an impostor. I take it back. I take everything back. My life is a farce. I am undone.

Anonymous said...

It's okay, Gannon. We only regret that we couldn't have won you over sooner.

Get tipsy with Lipsey!