The Little Tweak

It's really amazing how one change in your life can make all the difference. One little tweak in the program is the difference between a smooth-running machine and a complete meltdown. It really doesn't make a lot of sense. It's all mental, really. If the mindset changes, the attitude changes, the happiness level changes and life changes.

At the beginning of this semester, I was sinking into the closest thing to depression that I've ever experienced. I felt overwhelmed with school, work, band and life in general. I wouldn't give myself a break, worried constantly and stressed myself out more than I thought was possible. I was doubting my career choice, wondering what the hell I was going to do instead, and dreading the idea of graduation.

But then that change came, that one little difference that made it all better.

When I'm around her I just feel relaxed. I could be overloaded with work and fighting multiple deadlines, but I just don't feel stressed when I spend time with her. School and work just don't matter. All that does matter is the moment, the interaction and the happiness.

There has been a notable difference in my demeanor over the last month and a half. There's nothing else I can attribute it to. The Spring weather could have something to do with it if it wasn't still 40 degrees outside. All I can point to is I have something to look forward to at the end of the day. There's something that I'm working towards, something to get excited about. I realize that the stress that I've felt for the last three months is all in my head. I can handle this workload, and I can enjoy this semester.

And I have her to thank.


It's March, and that can only mean one thing: it's tournament time. My favorite time of the year, where I can fill out my brackets, get pissed when they end up falling apart, and cheer for the tiny schools that pull the big upsets in the first two rounds. We've got a chance this year, and we've proven ourselves the first two games.

Alright, I lied, it can mean two things. The Spring weather is supposedly coming. The sun is out, the colors seem brighter and, occasionally, the weather gets just to the point that it's tolerable in shorts and a T-shirt. This also means that the semester is finally coming to a close.

I'm thinking about typing more, but I feel like this post will just grow and become random and uninteresting to everyone, me included. So I'll cut myself off at this point and leave you.



Spring Break...finally

There must be something about spring semesters in Chapel Hill. Everything goes crazy. Fall semester usually goes fairly smoothly, aside from a frustrating football season. There must be something in the air when the weather starts to get warmer and basketball season gets into full swing.

Freshman year (Spring, 2006):
February 24: Two students fall out of a 3rd story window in Stacy Residence Hall, which is right beside the dorm I was in at the time. One of the students, the RA of the hall, dies because of the fall.
March 3: UNC graduate Mohammed Reza Taheri-Azar decides to drive his jeep through the Pit during the lunchtime rush, when hundreds of students were in the area. Luckily he didn't kill anyone and only injured nine students.
On a personal side of things, I ended a five-year relationship within a couple of weeks of these two incidents.

Sophomore year (Spring, 2007):
March 23: UNC Senior Jason Ray, who played Rameses, UNC's mascot, was hit by a car and killed while walking down the street in New Jersey while traveling with the basketball team to the NCAA tournament. I was in New Jersey with the band when this happened, and had gotten the chance to talk to J. Ray a few times. Nice guy, one of the biggest UNC fans I have ever met. He brought Rameses to life.
April 16: Senior Seung-Hui Cho kills 32 Virginia Tech students before killing himself.
This is the same semester that I rushed Phi Sigma Pi, a national honor fraternity, and met some great friends. I'm still not sure how I did so well in school that semester since I spent at least 3 nights of each week partying with my rush class.

Junior year (Spring, 2008):
February 14: Six students are killed in a classroom at Northern Illinois University when a gunman walks in and opens fire with a shotgun and two handguns.
March 6: An unidentified body was found early Wednesday morning in a quiet neighborhood about a mile from campus. On Thursday, authorities confirmed that the victim was Eve Carson, a senior at UNC and the student body president. I never knew her, but I saw her all over campus. A friend worked with her in student government and said nothing but good things about her. The campus was in shock.
On a personal note, this has been the busiest semester I've had in college. I feel like I never have a chance to breathe. Every week is busy, and there's never a break. Spring break is definitely needed. But while this is my worst academic semester, it's the best semester non-academically. I started dating an amazing girl that gives me something to look forward to after classes and work all day. Just being around her puts me in a good mood and relieves my stress, which is exactly what I need this semester.

So what is it about spring at Carolina? For the last two years pretty good things have happened for me during the semester. But at the same time there have been these terrible events, both at UNC and nationally. I don't have an answer for it all. It just makes you realize that you never know what's going to happen next. Life is random and unpredictable. I'll stop here to prevent from becoming cliche.

I look forward to spring every year. The campus is the most beautiful when the flowers start blooming and students start laying in the quad between classes. It means March Madness and afternoons spent watching Carolina baseball. It's an exciting time.

I just hope that we can make it through the rest of the semester without having to add anything to my list. No more vigils, no more tears.

Everyone enjoy your spring break, but please make sure to be safe.




I think it's about time I came clean about something. I have to stop denying it if I want to have any chance of overcoming my addiction. So here goes...

My name is Corey, and I'm a musicaholic.

It feels so good to finally admit that. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my chest. Now I can begin my recovery process. That is, after I finish putting 300 new songs into my iTunes.

I just crossed the 8,000 song threshold. Think about that. Most albums have around 15 songs. That would mean that I have somewhere around 530 albums on my computer. If I listened to all my songs consecutively, 24 hours a day, it would take me more than 22 days to listen to every song. It's almost worth trying.

When I bought my 30GB iPod, I remember thinking that there was no way I was going to be able to fill it. "If I ever get that many songs," I said to myself, "there is seriously something wrong with me." Well that moment came and went. Then I had to buy a 250GB external hard drive to hold my music because I filled up the hard drive on my computer. Luckily I still have 170GB left. But I'm sure I'll end up filling it up eventually.

I can't imagine what I would do if I actually had the money to buy all the CDs that I want. I would have to devote a room (maybe my walk-in closet) to storing them all. Try to picture 500 CDs. How about 1000? Give me a few more years and we'll see what happens.

This is the product of musical obsession. I have everything from Arcade Fire to Warren Zevon to Miles Davis to Led Zeppelin to the Avett Brothers. Stuff you've never heard of. Some stuff that I've never heard of.

I spent a few hours just going through my music earlier today. Most of the stuff I have I actually listen to fairly regularly. But every once-in-a-while I come across some weird song by some weird band that I don't recognize. But it's usually a good song. When you have 8,000 songs, some are bound to get lost in the mix.

I have to do something with music in my life. It's my obsession, my passion, and the one thing that I've always cared about. It soothes me, angers me, makes me think and makes me happy. I can't live without it. Now just to figure out how to work it into a career...

As always, here's the list of bands that I've come across recently:
Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin (great, fun pop group from Missouri)
AA Bondy (country/bluegrass/folk)
Megafaun (country/rock/alt group from Raleigh that's getting some national recognition)
Noah and the Whale (great, goofy pop group. You have to watch the video.)
Whiskeytown (Ryan Adams band before he went solo.)
Uncle Tupelo (alt-country group along the same lines as Whiskeytown...from Illinois.)
Kaki King (great acoustic guitar player with a beautiful voice)

"The one good thing about music: when it hits you, you feel no pain...so hit me with music."
~Bob Marley