It's really amazing how one change in your life can make all the difference. One little tweak in the program is the difference between a smooth-running machine and a complete meltdown. It really doesn't make a lot of sense. It's all mental, really. If the mindset changes, the attitude changes, the happiness level changes and life changes.
At the beginning of this semester, I was sinking into the closest thing to depression that I've ever experienced. I felt overwhelmed with school, work, band and life in general. I wouldn't give myself a break, worried constantly and stressed myself out more than I thought was possible. I was doubting my career choice, wondering what the hell I was going to do instead, and dreading the idea of graduation.
But then that change came, that one little difference that made it all better.
When I'm around her I just feel relaxed. I could be overloaded with work and fighting multiple deadlines, but I just don't feel stressed when I spend time with her. School and work just don't matter. All that does matter is the moment, the interaction and the happiness.
There has been a notable difference in my demeanor over the last month and a half. There's nothing else I can attribute it to. The Spring weather could have something to do with it if it wasn't still 40 degrees outside. All I can point to is I have something to look forward to at the end of the day. There's something that I'm working towards, something to get excited about. I realize that the stress that I've felt for the last three months is all in my head. I can handle this workload, and I can enjoy this semester.
And I have her to thank.
It's March, and that can only mean one thing: it's tournament time. My favorite time of the year, where I can fill out my brackets, get pissed when they end up falling apart, and cheer for the tiny schools that pull the big upsets in the first two rounds. We've got a chance this year, and we've proven ourselves the first two games.
Alright, I lied, it can mean two things. The Spring weather is supposedly coming. The sun is out, the colors seem brighter and, occasionally, the weather gets just to the point that it's tolerable in shorts and a T-shirt. This also means that the semester is finally coming to a close.
I'm thinking about typing more, but I feel like this post will just grow and become random and uninteresting to everyone, me included. So I'll cut myself off at this point and leave you.